Name:Heywood Jablomie Country:United States State:Illinois Metro:Chicago Birthday:9/28/1962 Gender:Male
Interests:Hobbies? They're for the weak...seriously, I make a mean jambalaya, play horrible guitar, and tell tasteless jokes...ROCK!!! Expertise:Rockin' like Dokken...I've also been studying up on all these herbal boob pills they sell on the Web... Occupation:Bum
A few weeks ago, the Dancing With The Stars Tour came through Chicago. Each year when the tour comes through, there's a local dance-off sponsored by Arthur Murray.
See, how it works is, they put up a poster in each studio in the area, and they have a tryout. They pick 10 couples, being judged by Jill, the woman who owns 3 studios, and a couple local celebrities. This year it was Dina Bair, a local newswoman (and phenomenal tango dancer) and Mike Adamle, who played football at Northwestern University, as well as for the Bears, and has done sportscasting on local television stations.
Anyway, we got picked last year, and I remember telling you about it. We got to do the cha-cha in front of about 10,000 people at Allstate Arena, and we got eliminated in the first round.
This year, we did the cha-cha again. Again, we were eliminated right away. That doesn't take away from the fact that it was an awesome experience.
Difference is, this year we get to show you...The MC is Fabian Sanchez, and the judge is Km Johnson...
Tonight is the last night you get to spend in 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue as its resident. Barring, of course, any wild-assed declaration of martial law by Cheney or something like that. Believe me when I tell you, it's probably crossed some people's mind.
So lately you've been all over TV, basically trying to defend your record. It's not easy defending the indefensible, is it?
I know you've been praying for the Truman historical bounce. Truman left office almost as unpopular as you are, but was vindicated by history. Difference between the two of you is, Truman's unpopularity was pretty much because he had an utter lack of charm. He was abrasive as hell. But at least he had his shit together.
As far as having any kind of fecal matter properly assembled, I think you've been a little more than lacking in that particular area. One reason I've never believed any of the conspiracy theories connected to you is, quite frankly, you're a fucking simpleton. Your job the last 8 years has essentially been to go out and sell the product. Problem is, you can sell a shit sandwich by dipping it in chocolate and saying it has no calories, but at some point someone's going to take a bite.
Katrina was when America bit.
You got away with your ludicrous tax cuts, which certainly helped the American economy implode. Anyone who doubts whether God's good graces are with America just has to look at the fact that the whole economic shithouse came crashing down before the election. It gave everyone a chance to see McCain couldn't handle a crisis, while Obama maintained his calm. At that moment, America saw President Obama and Senator McCain.
So what else do you have to hang your hat on? The one thing you and the rest of the Republican spin machine have been beating to death is that there have been no terror attacks since 9/11. Of course, what you leave out is that since you sent over 100,000 Americans over to the people who like killing Americans, you actually made life easier for the scumbags. Kudos, dumbass.
The reason the man who is putting his hand on the Bible tomorrow (and make no mistake, it WILL be a Bible) is doing so is because he was the agent of hope and change.
The only time people vote for change is when they need it.
The only time people vote for hope is when they have none.
You've certainly left a mess for Obama. I hope he's up to the task.
Nobody has ever left the country in this much worse shape than he got it in since Hoover.
Fucko, you can't leave soon enough.
Don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you.
It usually takes twenty years after a President leaves office to fairly judge how well he did while in office.
For instance, Harry Truman chose not to run in 1952. He was that unpopular. By the time of his death 20 years later, he was regarded as one of the better Presidents on the century.
Ronald Reagan looked like they would have to figure out how to fit him onto Mount Rushmore when he left office. Now, 20 years later, we've seen Reaganomics reach its logical end in the current crisis. We've also seen his foreign policy foment itself in Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran. Not so hot after all.
Where will George W. Bush fall? The United States sent a lot of funding to Africa for AIDS research, but there were strings attached - teaching abstinence (even to married couples) and denying education in contraception. If the tide is turned in the AIDS outbreak as a result, that's one in the "win" column.
Of course, the big one is Iraq. If Iraq actually winds up being a paradigm shift for the region, and becomes the epicenter of democratic reform in the Middle East, that will be huge for him. At the moment, Iraq's leadership is moving closer and closer to Iran in terms of political and religious ideology. If that trend continues, that's pretty much going to send Bush into Buchanan territory, as far as history goes.
Strangely, his strongest ally at this point is...Barack Obama.
Just as Bush erased Clinton's most significant achievement (budget surpluses and National debt reduction) with a single stroke of the pen, Obama's success (if he is successful) can minimize the damage of the last 8 years. He will have a lot to do, and he'll probably have 8 years to do it, since most Americans agree that he's setting up house in a burning building. If he can stop the slide and at least make some progress in the next 3 years, he'll run against Sarah Palin in 2012 and pretty much trounce her. Otherwise, the more heavily-monied (and more qualified) Republicans will step in, and Obama will be hard-pressed to get re-elected.
What's interesting about Bush is he, unlike any President in recent memory, has no interest in his legacy. In fact, he looks like a Senior who finished his classes, and is just waiting for graduation. During the whole market crash and ensuing crisis, he's been virtually invisible. This is actually pretty much the summary of his Presidency...he vanishes when there's a crisis and there's no script. The only time he ever moved quickly in his entire Presidency was when he cut his vacation short to sign the Terri Schiavo Law. Admit it, you forgot all about that, didn't you?
There will be many books written about the last eight years. Not many will be flattering. The pro-Bush ones will focus more on the strength of his convictions than on any real successes he's had. Perhaps someone will be able to change the narrative, like many have with Reagan...how else could a President who raised taxes and grew the Federal government every year he was in office be remembered as a small-government tax cutter?
But back to Bush. He's leaving office with horrendously low approval ratings. In fact, his own party's nominee tried to run as an agent of change, so he wouldn't have to be associated with him. Harry Truman left office under the same cloud. So did Lyndon Johnson and James Buchanan.
Check back here in 20 years, and we'll see where he lands.
